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broken_ramblings
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Name: Tracy
Country: United States
State: Rhode Island
Metro: Providence
Birthday: 10/18/1983
Interests: being done with co-ops...and figuring out what i want to do with my life
Expertise: New Media Publishing (well almost) and maybe a few other things...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  tjeter02
Member Since:
7/29/2004
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| im in need of a good cry followed by a good hug...but i guess this will have to do. So my 3 horrible things have happened: first I get fired from my job (laid off, whatever) then my computer dies, and then my beloved car dies. Now, I've done pretty well for staying positive especially considering im usually the sarcastic pesimistic type. This weekend was great, my daddy came to visit me and tagged along with me while I searched for a new car. Lo and behold! I found a beautiful Toyota Yaris '07 lift back...look on my facebook for pictures if you haven't yet. So today I went and picked up my car since I brought it back to the dealer yesterday to get the value package added. The value package was this really sweet protector stuff so that the awful salt on the roads wont affect my shinny car. Also, the inside got the same protector stuff so that when I pull my typical "Tracy move" then the seats wont get stained...just imagine me driving down some busy highway and spilling whatever I'm eating at the time all over my pretty shinny brand new car. So, after I picked up my car I decided to come to the library for some "tracy time" Then my phone rang. It was the dealership telling me that the bank called them and told them that my income or something wasn't enough and that I now need a co-signer, or an extra $800 down! This is very frustrating seeing as though this weekend they told me I wouldnt need a co-signer and that the $700 down plus the $500 that I was getting for my old car trade in was enough. So now I feel like shit...just something else that I have to deal with on top of everything else. My life sucks right now and I feel very empty. I must not cry in the library--that would be the icing on my cake. Oh, and I've been up for 10 hrs now (aka, since 4am) and then theres boy issues (as always) So I'm basically at my breaking point. I really need my life to get back where it should be really soon. At least I'm going swing dancing tonight...swimming isnt even an escape anymore...but softball starts on monday. Must stay positive...:-\ | | |
| For those that don't yet know:
I am officially hired on as full time staff at the Y. Which means I will be receiving benefits (yay)
Yesterday I was also hired as waterfront director for camp Warren (woot!!!!) and newspaper director too. www.campwarren.org
its an overnight camp, and I heard that it is pretty sweet-even to rival that of the basileia young life camp. Our hot tub is the same size as the one at RIT! I'm wicked excited, I get to be in the middle of nowhere for an entire summer--but the good part of it is that the camp has wireless internet so the computer will be comming along for the journey.
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| back by popular demand...
Tonight's fortune cookie sums up my time in the Twin Cities perfecly: "we would often be sorry if our wishes came true"
I love the Cities, they are my new home...I will forever be from Rhode Island and will never say "doncha knoo" and forever say "wicked"
I moved out here thinking that I would be successful in all that I do-but I was wrong. I was in my "dream job" fresh meat out of college-thinking I was on top of the world. Then I got knocked down on my ass. I guess I will always have to be completly destroyed before being transformed.
There are reasons that I'm in the cities, as I'm coming to see. If I didnt lose my job, I wouldn't be working at the Y. I love working at the Y, I love having lil kids hanging on my shoulder-their safety literally in my arms. I love the environment and the people I work with and for. Not only did I build new friendships there, but I also found a new church to go to...one that I feel like I can actually belong to and still be the me that everyone loves. I'm also working out again and taking care of my body. It's starting to feel right here.
If I didnt lose my job, I'd still be living in an apartment building with lots of Indians (meaning un-friendly neighbors) I wouldn't have found the house I live in now, or the wicked awesome roommates that I have. I also wouldn't have been able to go dancing as much as I do. I have a social life that fits me. I may have weird hours, and my always seem busy to everyone else...but if you nab me at the right time, I'd be more than happy to talk your ear off (and listen) for a few hours.
For the first time in my life, I have no idea what the future holds. I have no immediate goals. I have no idea where I'm going, or even where I'll end up. I do know that I'm happy. Granted, money is tight and I'm not doing a full time job that is directly related to my degree (I have a few free-lance jobs going on) but I am actually happy.
I'm just waiting for the next door to open
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| I have days where all I can do is think about him. The way he smelled, the way he held me, the way he felt in my arms, the way…everything. The smallest thing will set off a memory to bring him back to me. Hear a cell phone ring that’s the same tone will make me jump a mile into the air. Then I whip around in hopes that hes standing there behind me, asking for me back. I’ll be reading a book, or watching tv where the character does nothing but remind me of him. Then I sit there with my head back resting against whatever is behind me just getting lost in my thoughts, the memories. I miss everything that came with him. I miss just sitting on the couch and procrastinating the homework to just sit and chill and watch food network. There was no need for conversation, just the company was comforting enough. But I think it was the calm that he brought that makes me miss him-just having someone there. | | |
| to all my rochester friends- i love you all, but talking will not help...the last post was a vent. the only way you could help was to move to minneapolis this way i would have friends here | | |
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